In my dream there was a huge spider crawling up the wall next to my bed so naturally I freak out and the best thing I could find was bug repellent spray. I spray that shit and that fucker drops to the floor and charges towards me! Good thing I was wearing socks because it attacked my toes, and then I woke up. =[
What a bad way for my day to start. geez. Being into symbolism and hidden meanings, I looked up what it means to see a spider in a dream. What struck a chord with me was this:
“To see a spider crawling up a wall in your dream denotes that your desires will soon be realized.
To dream that you are bitten by a spider represents a conflict with your mother or some dominant female figure in your life. The dream may be a metaphor for a devouring mother or the feminine power to possess and entrap. Perhaps you are feeling trapped by some relationship.”
I have always known this. That my mother is the ball and chain to my freedom, my future, my life. I know I need to focus on myself before I can effectively help others, but as selfish as I am I feel bad and guilty for “not taking care of family.” My body itches and aches from being trapped in this nest. I need to leave and explore the world for myself. It’s a slow and vicious cycle, a catch-22. Even though mother is frustrating, source of my anger, dependent, etc. I still love her. SIGH. One day, maybe.